February 4, 2016 § 1 Comment
Like the lamb staring into the fierce,
predatory eyes of fate, I shake.
Always, there are the questions,
the doubt, the constant
disappointments of the flesh
and the self that make it
progressively harder to see straight.
How long? How?
August 5, 2015 § Leave a comment
Sitting there quietly,
you didn’t speak but I looked
for meaning in your eyes,
found myself searching for
memory in dilated pupils, trying to
read the tale in deep groves of skin.
Perhaps futile, your head flopping
from side to side, resting on the table,
drool escaping from trembling lips,
but a movement of hands and a shuffling
towards me. Closer, still. Where have you been?
June 25, 2015 § Leave a comment
Temporary, fleeting, but rooted in persistence.
He curls around the doorway late
at night, seeps in through the
hollow walls like tear gas.
Lashes bat him away in
defiance but he stings
like a wasp.
Only certain hands can tame him.
Hands like armour, that barricade
my supple flesh like stone,
Yours. Always yours.
February 19, 2015 § Leave a comment
Now I remember. I thought I wanted
this ache. Thought I needed it.
I guess, in a way, I do.
‘I feel like…
…I need you’.
I miss you. I am incoherent and sad.
I want to get drunk,
Instead I sit.
February 9, 2015 § Leave a comment
I loved you, I did.
Some part of me
that never knew you
but touched you,
felt you, and could not
bear the pain.
November 5, 2014 § Leave a comment
I am not the big fish in the small pond,
but the caterpillar, staring in awe
at the esteemed butterfly, seething with envy
and want. One must wait, one must wait,
but I want it now. I want knowledge and
power and love and fortune,
of which I have little.
Yet every summer evening,
I watch those vibrant wings return,
colours dancing in the sunset like
petals in a breeze and remember.
Hope. At least there is hope.
October 19, 2014 § Leave a comment
‘Old habits die hard’ he said,
and I smirked, teeth poking out
between two red lips.
No, not me, I thought,
but yet sooner or later return
the blurred vision, the clouded judgement,
the feel of razor blades clawing at my throat
towards my mouth, black smoke exhaled,
my demons purged in thick tendrils, rectified,
clean, relaxed. Pure.
October 1, 2014 § Leave a comment
Watching from a distance,
two lover’s hands timidly feeling
their way across a table, eyes like
glass marbles gazing, lips turned up
at the corners, reveling in
A smile escapes a pair of lips and I
die a little. A blonde twirls her hair
flirtatiously around her fingers,
tendrils coaxed into submission.
A threat. An invitation.
The man in a suit winks from
across the bar.
I remember this well. The dizzying,
exhilarating game of courtship.
The heat which accompanies
burnt a hole in my chest that
I’m still trying to fill.
I sit alone and seethe with envy.
September 5, 2014 § 2 Comments
I am not ashamed of my faults and I am not ashamed to love yours.
It took me a long time to say that,
but here I am, sewn and stitched up,
ragged but whole. I have known and I know,
I see your bruised soul and I want to reach out
and stroke it. I want to kiss your wounds so that I may
wear you like lipstick, mouth stained hot crimson as tribute
to the life in our veins, the flawed, fraying beauty of the war in
your mind and the gentle thud of a heart
that refuses to listen.